I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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