I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
