it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
