Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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