Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
