i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
