i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The air taste purple.
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