I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
