If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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