i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
