I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
