Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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