with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
