She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
