Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
His nipple licking is glorious
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