Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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