i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
it's like heaven, but drunker
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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