He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
