I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
