i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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