I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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