I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
im six kinds of drunk right now
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
