i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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