I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
