It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
