i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
