She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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