I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
it was like having sex with a tree stump
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
