New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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