I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I understand Curling. That high.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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