you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
