please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My penis needs a shock collar
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
