we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize