im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
