The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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