yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
