I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
