Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
