i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
