Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
