Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
