He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
