So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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