shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
