I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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