you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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