we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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