Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
