a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
