its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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