I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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