So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
