Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
