I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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