We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
